A big thank you to Instructor Bill Mullan, for these reflections!
Two thousand years ago, while Israel and Judah were awaiting the Messiah, in their own Advent, the world was still under the Old Covenant, looking to the Old Testament prophets. In fact, most of our first Mass readings during Advent are from the Prophets! So, during Advent, how appropriate it is to go deeper into God’s revelation about his spousal relationship with us, which is one of the central themes in the Prophets.
It seems natural to experience God as Father. But God as spouse? What does that even mean? I’ve seen so many really struggle with this, especially men. They have trouble envisioning God as the bridegroom because it means we’re the bride – more about that in a moment.
Here is some of what the Scripture says about God as spouse:
- Hosea 2: “And I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness; and you shall know the Lord.” (Hosea 2:19-20)
- Isaiah 54: “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.” (Isaiah 54:5)
- Jeremiah 31: “Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant which I made with their fathers when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant which they broke, though I was their husband, says the Lord.” (Jeremiah 31:31-32)
The Catechism of the Catholic Church ties God’s spousal relationship with Israel to the relationship between the Church – all of us – and Jesus. Paragraphs 1611 and 1612 read:
- “Seeing God’s covenant with Israel in the image of exclusive and faithful married love, the prophets prepared the Chosen People’s conscience for a deepened understanding of the unity and indissolubility of marriage. ” (1611)
- “The nuptial covenant between God and his people Israel had prepared the way for the new and everlasting covenant in which the Son of God, by becoming incarnate and giving his life, has united to himself in a certain way all mankind saved by him, thus preparing for ‘the wedding-feast of the Lamb.’” (1612)
Speaking of the wedding feast of the Lamb, the Bible begins and ends with marriage. So, it’s clear God intended for us to understand His love for us through the lens of marriage.
Now back to that whole God as bridegroom and we as the bride thing. If you really want to dive deep into this concept, prayerfully read the Song of Songs in the wisdom books. Dr. Peter Kreeft (Crafte) is a Catholic apologist who teaches at Boston College. In his book, “Three Philosophies of Life,” he breaks down our spousal relationship with God in the Song of Songs.
- He writes, “The Bible is about real life… And the point of the real story of life is love. The whole Bible is a love story because God, the author, is love.” (p.99)
- Kreeft goes on, The Song of Songs “is a double love story, vertical and horizontal, divine and human… The bridegroom symbolizes God… and the bride symbolizes the soul.” (p. 100)
- “Song of Songs uses romantic love and marriage rather than any one of the other human forms of love as its chosen symbols for the love of God because romantic love and marriage comprise the fullest and completest of all human loves.” (p. 100)
- Kreeft concludes, “Husband and wife give to each other as much as it is humanly possible to give: their whole selves, body and soul, life, time, friends, world, possessions, children – nothing is to be held back.” (p.100)
“Nothing is to be held back.” What are you holding back from God? That’s the central question to ask yourself.
So, let’s think about what love and marriage is: Song of Songs indicates marriage is dialogue. A husband and wife communicate. For that communication to be meaningful and fruitful, however, it must be open, honest, and vulnerable. In dialogue, a husband and wife must truly listen to each other, not just to what they are saying, but to what they are revealing to the other. Our prayer life is our spousal dialogue with God. As you reflect, consider whether your prayer is meaningful and fruitful.
- Are you open, honest, and vulnerable when you pray to God?
- Do you sit in silence before the Most Blessed Sacrament to hear what God has to reveal to you?
In the dialogue of husband and wife, it is imperative that each really gets to know the other by understanding the wishes, will, and desires of the other. How do we get to know God the bridegroom’s will? We need to be prayerfully immersed in His Word each and every day.
- When was the last time you did Lectio Divina?
- Do you set aside time every day to read and reflect upon the daily Mass readings? If not, you lose the ability to know and understand God’s will and the love of the Holy Trinity.
When we read the Prophets, we discover that God wants exclusivity, just as in a marriage. In fact, it’s the First Commandment. Jesus put it best in Mark 12: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.”
- Think about what or whom you put ahead of God. What distracts you from God? What or whom do you idolize other than God?
- What gets in the way of loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength?
Marriage is also an exchange of selves. To quote Song of Songs 7, “My beloved is mine and I am his.” Spouses must die every day to their own desires in order to live for their spouse just as Christ died for us.
- Are you willing to offer up your bodies and your lives the way St. Paul describes Christ sacrificing His body and life for His bride, the Church, in Ephesians?
You know, sometimes in marriage, spouses hurt one another with wounding words, harmful actions, neglect, or by other means. In moments like these, we must ask loved ones for forgiveness as the first step toward healing. You probably know where I’m going with this: the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
- When was the last time you asked for and received God’s forgiveness?
- More importantly, when is the next time you plan to go to Confession?
Commit to receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation at least once during Advent, it is your spousal duty to God, just as it is His spousal duty to forgive you. Then consider making Confession routine in your life, whether once a month or once a week.
Of course, there is physical intimacy in marriage. In marriage, spouses make a total gift of their bodies, hearts, souls, and minds. Where does Jesus make a total gift of his body, blood, soul, and divinity? In the Eucharist, of course. The Eucharist is a spousal gift, according to Lawrence Feingold in his book, “The Eucharist: Mystery of Presence, Sacrifice, and Communion.”
- “It is proper to spousal love that there be a mutual and total self-giving of the partners to each other… In the Eucharist, Christ gives to His Bride the very act by which He poured out His life for her to cleanse and sanctify her by meritting the remission of sins… Christ willed to give a testament to His Bride that would be not only His own living presence but also the continued presence of the very act by which He showed Himself as the Supreme Lover of our souls.”
In August of 2019, a Pew Survey revealed that only 31% of Catholics believed in the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. Where are you? Are you among the 31% or the 69%? If you struggle with the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, then I urge you to take Jesus’ Bread of Life discourse in John 6 into Lectio Divina.
For that matter, if you believe in the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, prayerfully read John 6, again, and renew your love for the Eucharist. Because the Eucharist is our spousal physical intimacy with God. Did you miss receiving the Eucharist during the pandemic while only watching Mass at home? Why? Why did we long to ingest the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus? Why was an Act of Spiritual Communion not enough? Isn’t it the same in marriage? Spouses long for that physical contact with one another.
Of course, we become betrothed to God at our Baptism, and we receive His love even more deeply when we receive the Sacrament of Confirmation through the gifts of the Holy Spirit, who comes from the Love of the Father and son. The sacraments of marriage and holy orders – are moments in our lives where we are called to deepen our spousal relationship with God through service to others.
Finally, think about the wedding vows: “in sickness and in health.” We live out these spousal vows with God when we receive the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick!
Some challenges for you:
- Draw deeper into your spousal relationship with God.
- Open your heart during prayer.
- Read the Bible more prayerfully.
- Go to Confession.
- Receive the Eucharist with all the awe anticipated in John 6.